COUPLES, COMMUNICATION & INTIMACY · ILLINOIS
Online Couples Therapy in Illinois
For when you're having the same fight in different words.
Free 15-minute consult · In-network with most major insurance · 100% online · LGBTQ+ and relationship-diversity affirming
93% of new clients come back after their first session.
You've had this fight before. Different words, same ending, both of you exhausted and a little further apart than when it started.
Couples therapy at CLS isn't about deciding who's right. It's about figuring out what you're actually fighting about underneath the surface argument, and building a way through it that works for both of you.
Book a free consult with Nicole →
CLS Counseling & Consulting offers online couples therapy anywhere in Illinois, from Chicago and the suburbs to Springfield, Peoria, and the Metro East. Sessions are with Nicole McSuhm, LCSW, who has completed Level 2 training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy and also uses Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Internal Family Systems (IFS). She helps couples with communication, recurring conflict, intimacy, and more complex issues like affairs, addiction, and trauma, and she is LGBTQ+ affirming and kink-aware, including with non-monogamous and polyamorous relationships. Nicole is in-network with most major insurance plans, provides superbills, and offers a sliding fee scale.
Clinically reviewed by Cassandra Sissom, LCPC, LPC, clinical director · Last reviewed October 2026
Is this you?
A lot of couples who reach out aren't in crisis. They're just tired of circling the same unresolved thing. That includes traditional couples, LGBTQ+ couples, and every kind of relationship structure.
You're doing well in most areas of life, but this one thing keeps coming back.
You've had the same argument more times than you can count, and it never actually resolves.
You feel unseen or unheard by your partner, even when you both know you're trying.
Something broke trust, like an affair or a betrayal, and you don't know how to come back from it.
Something heavier is in the mix, like addiction, trauma, or a betrayal, and regular advice doesn't fit.
You've read the books and listened to the podcasts, and you're still stuck.
You want a space that's genuinely affirming for LGBTQ+ couples, not performatively inclusive.
You're non-monogamous, polyamorous, or kinky, and you want a kink-aware therapist who won't treat your relationship structure as the problem. More on relationship diversity →
What keeps couples from reaching out
Most couples wait years before getting help. Usually it's one of these:
“We're not on the verge of divorce, so maybe this doesn't count.”
“We've already tried talking it out on our own.”
“I don't want a therapist who ends up taking sides.”
“What if it just confirms we're not actually compatible?”
None of those are reasons to keep having the same fight for another year.
Sound familiar? Start with a free 15-minute consult.
Book with Nicole →
What it can feel like to be on the same team again
You can bring up the hard thing without it turning into the fight.
You both know what's actually underneath the argument.
Repair takes hours, not days of silence.
You feel like teammates again, not roommates or opponents.
Intimacy feels like connection, not one more thing you're failing at.
What Couples Therapy Looks Like at CLS
Couples therapy here is not a referee situation, and Nicole is not going to declare a winner (sorry). She'll help you both see the pattern you're stuck in, what's actually driving it, and how to have the hard conversation without it turning into round twelve.
Nicole has completed Level 2 training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy, which goes deeper into high-conflict patterns, affairs, and trauma in relationships. She uses it alongside Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Internal Family Systems (IFS), adapted to your relationship instead of a one-size-fits-all script.
And the goal isn't keeping every relationship together no matter what. It's helping you both get honest about what a healthy, happy relationship looks like for you, together or apart.
The Process
1
A free 15-minute consultation
Ask questions and see if Nicole feels like a fit for both of you.
2
First Session
What's working, what keeps circling, and what you each want.
3Ongoing Sessions
You leave with something concrete to try together, not just a space to air grievances.
Wondering about cost? We're in-network with most major insurance plans, and we'll verify your benefits before your first session.
What Is the Gottman Method?
The Gottman Method was developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman from more than 40 years of research with thousands of couples. Researchers watched how couples actually talk, argue, and make up, then followed them over time to see which relationships stayed strong. That research found the patterns that predict trouble, like criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling (the "Four Horsemen"). It also found the everyday habits that keep couples connected. Gottman Method Couples Therapy turns those findings into practical tools you use together. For a deeper look, read our plain-language guide to the Gottman Method.
Is it evidence-based?
Yes. The tools come directly from that long-term research rather than from theory alone. A five-year study published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy followed 106 gay and lesbian couples in Gottman Method Couples Therapy. After about eleven sessions, both gay male and lesbian couples showed significant gains in relationship satisfaction. The Gottmans' 12-year study of same-sex couples also found that the same core patterns predict relationship health for same-sex and straight couples. More on the research behind the Gottman Method →
What Nicole Helps Couples Work Through
Most couples come in with something familiar: communication that keeps breaking down, the same argument on repeat, or feeling more like roommates than partners. Nicole also has deeper training and experience with the harder things couples carry.
Conflict that turns into a fight every time
When criticism, contempt, defensiveness, or shutting down (what the Gottman Method calls the "Four Horsemen") take over, conversations go sideways fast. Nicole teaches you specific ways to counter each one. She also helps you notice when one of you is flooded, too overwhelmed to really listen, and calm your body down first. Then you can break the attack-and-defend cycle instead of repeating it.
The issues that never seem to get solved
Some disagreements don't go away: money, family, sex, how to raise kids, how you spend your time. These are "gridlocked" issues. Using Gottman techniques like "Dreams Within Conflict," Nicole helps you talk about what each of you is really protecting underneath the position. That lets you stop fighting about the issue and start understanding each other through it. Read more about why couples fight about money and why the same argument shows up when you travel together.
Friendship, intimacy, and feeling close again
A strong relationship is built on friendship. Nicole gives you tools to know each other more deeply again. You build small rituals of connection that fit your real lives, and get clear on the values and meaning you want to share.
When it's more complicated
Some couples come in carrying more: an affair or betrayal, substance use or addiction, PTSD or past trauma, or conflict that has crossed into physical or emotional harm. Nicole has advanced Gottman Method training for exactly these complex cases. She works through them carefully, at a pace that feels safe for both of you.
Meet your therapist
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Nicole McSuhm, LCSW
LCSW (Illinois only)
Best fit for couples stuck in the same fight, rebuilding trust after an affair, or wanting to feel close again. Has completed Level 2 training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy and also uses EFT and IFS. LGBTQ+ affirming, disability-affirming, and kink-aware, including non-monogamous and polyamorous relationships.
Direct, pattern-focused, and strengths-based.
One note: when there's been violence in the relationship, Nicole starts with a careful safety assessment with each partner. Couples work happens only when it's safe for both of you. Otherwise, she works with each partner individually.
In Missouri? Couples therapy is Illinois-only for now, but our Missouri therapists see individuals for relationship patterns, boundaries, and communication. Book a free consult →
Common Questions
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That's exactly what the free 15-minute consultation or chat is for. It's a low-pressure way to ask questions and see if it feels right before committing to anything.
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Nicole has completed Level 2 training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy and uses it alongside Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Internal Family Systems (IFS). It's adapted to your relationship, not a one-size-fits-all script.
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Yes. Nicole's Level 2 Gottman training focuses specifically on affairs, trauma, and high-conflict patterns. Therapy gives you both a structured way to understand what happened, rebuild trust, and decide what comes next, without rushing either of you.
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Yes. LGBTQ+ couples are a primary focus of Nicole's practice. The goal is a space that's genuinely affirming, not something you have to ask for or explain. LGBTQ+ & relationship diversity →
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Yes. Nicole is kink-aware and works with non-monogamous and polyamorous relationships without treating the structure itself as the problem. That includes couples therapy for more than two partners. More on relationship diversity →
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Yes. Nicole has advanced Gottman Method training for complex cases, including couples where substance use, addiction, PTSD, or past violence affects the relationship. Sometimes individual therapy or other support alongside couples work helps too, and she'll talk that through with you.
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Yes. It's built on more than 40 years of research with thousands of couples, and outcome studies, including one with 106 gay and lesbian couples, show meaningful improvement in relationship satisfaction. Nicole has completed Level 2 training and combines it with Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Internal Family Systems (IFS).
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No. A lot of couples who come in are doing well in most areas of life and just want tools for the parts that keep circling. Couples therapy works best as a proactive step, not a last resort.
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That's still something therapy can hold. The goal isn't a predetermined outcome. It's helping both of you get clear and honest about what you each actually want.
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Sometimes, yes. Nicole has advanced Gottman Method training for couples where there has been violence. She starts by meeting with each partner to understand what's been happening and whether couples therapy is safe. If one partner is afraid of the other or there's ongoing abuse, she works with each of you individually instead and helps connect you with support. If you're in immediate danger, call 911. For 24/7 support, call or text 988, or contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
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Yes. All sessions are online through a secure, HIPAA-compliant platform, anywhere in Illinois, from Chicago and the suburbs to Springfield, Peoria, and the Metro East. And it works: in a randomized trial, couples who met by video improved their relationship satisfaction just as much as couples who met in person (Kysely et al., 2022). Both partners should be located in Illinois during sessions. In Missouri? Our Missouri therapists can see you individually for relationship patterns and communication.
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Nicole is in-network with most major insurance plans, provides superbills for out-of-network reimbursement, and offers a sliding fee scale. Coverage for couples therapy varies by plan, so we'll talk it through on your free consult.
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It's a free 15-minute consultation or chat with Nicole to see if it's a good fit for both of you. Ask questions, share a little about what's going on, and get a feel for how she works. No pressure, no commitment.
Related: LGBTQ+ & relationship diversity · Attachment & relationship patterns · Trauma & PTSD therapy
You don't have to keep having the same fight.
A free 15-minute consultation or chat with Nicole. No pressure, no commitment.